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Archive for February, 2007

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I Smirt, You Stooze, They Krump

Stooze book

It seems that ’stooze’ has finally entered the English language. This new book from Collins Dictionaries won’t teach you how to make money from credit cards, neither will it teach you how to krump (dance in an agressive style) or smirt (smoking and flirting outside work or maybe a restaraunt or nightclub), but it will inform you about all the latest words to enter the English language.

Pomgirl has written an entertaining review.


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Stooze book

What if we told you there’s an Evil Twin downstairs? That your children are at the silent disco and your dad’s been dooced? What if we called you a flashpacker - or worse: an orthorexic? Frightened? Confused? You needn’t be. If dog-whistling goes over your head and global dimming leaves you in the dark, let “I Smirt, You Stooze, They Krump” be your guide to the biggest, boldest, fastest-changing language on Earth. Every month hundreds of new words are collected by Collins unique language-monitoring resources, and now “I Smirt, You Stooze, They Krump” brings you the best of the bunch. Combining up-to-the-minute vocabulary with the colourful stories behind the next generation of English words, this is the only book for anyone who wants to keep their finger on the pulse of this fascinating and ever-growing language.

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APR Explained

For a really in-depth explaination of APR see this wikipedia article. If, like me, you want the short version, then please read on.

APR (or Annual Percentage Rate) is an expression of the effective interest rate to be paid on a loan or earned on savings and investments. APR is a tool to enable consumers to compare financial products such as credit cards - in the UK lenders have to disclose the APR for all their products. As APR ‘rolls up’ expenses such as application fees, so if your product has costs associated with it these will be included in the APR making for a fair comparison between products.

APR does not solve all problems for comparing products though. Regulators have been unable to finalise which fees must be included in the calculation, and we all know that if a loophole exists to make a fee ‘invisible’ then the financial institution is probably going to try it. That said, APR is still the best tool consumers have for comparing costs.

Another potential problem with APR is that it is not good for comparision of products of different durations. The APR for a 30 year loan cannot be compared to the APR of a 20 year loan. Also, if a product such as a mortgage is paid off early, then the effective interest rate will be much higher than the APR quoted.

Handy links (well, maybe. I don’t like to get too involved with the calculations):

APR calculator 

Stoozing to Reduce Your Mortgage

Another popular financial product with stoozers is the offset mortgage.

Most of the major banks and financial institutions are providing offset mortgages now, there is much more choice than when they were first introduced several years ago. Offset mortgages began in Australia and came to this side of the world in the late 1990’s.

With an offset mortgage savings and current account balances are rolled up with mortgage debt each night reducing the amount of effective debt you have. This reduces the amount of interest charged, meaing more of your payment goes towards paying off your mortgage in place of paying the interest part of your mortgage.

As most current accounts and savings accounts pay a lower rate of interest than mortgages charge, you wind up being better off.

The fantasticness of offset mortgages doesn’t stop there, however. The other thing to take into consideration is the tax paid on interest earned on any savings you may have. The government charges tax on most forms of savings and investment (when they are in profit at least), the notable exception being cash ISA’s. This tax is totally avoided (yes avoided, not evaded, we are keeping inside the law here!) when using an offset mortgage as you aren’t actually earning any interest- smart huh?

There are actually two different kinds of offset mortgage, CAM’s (Current Account Mortgages), and Offset Mortgages. There are pronounced differences between the two.

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Cash ISAs

Why not invest your stooze money in a cash ISA (Individual Savings Account)?

Cash ISA’s are a favorite investment for the stoozer. Investing the money you have borrowed on credit cards into anything but a safe investment is a read risk, and unless you are a very serious investor with ample available funds I wouldn’t recommend it. Cash ISA’s on the other hand are risk free.

The truely great thing about investing in a cash ISA is that interest earned is free from taxation. This is a great little scheme dreamed up by the government to encourage the proletariat to save so of their hard earned cash. Banks offer good interest rates on cash ISA’s; often better than the best interest rate offered on their other savings products.

The maximum investment in a cash ISA in any one year is £3000. If you also wish to invest in stocks and shares these can be held in a ISA too, up to £3000 (or £7000 if you do not hold a cash ISA for the same year).

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Balance Transfer Basics

If you are new to stoozing and haven’t had much involvement with credit or credit cards in general you may not understand the term ‘balance transfer’. It is a term you will see used a lot on this site as it forms the backbone of stoozing.

Balance transfer is essentially the transfer of debt from one credit agreement to another. Mostly we are talking about transfer of a credit card balance from one card to another with a more favorable APR.

Credit card companies offer special balance transfer deals to bring in new customers. The deals are naturally good, usually better than any standard rate offered by a credit card. These deals usually expire after a period (3-12 months), and are replaced by the companies standard rate.

Consumers choosing to transfer a balance will save money on interest charges, this extra money can be used to pay off the balance earlier or to give the consumer more to spend each month. Wiley consumers (or ‘rate tarts’) change their card as soon as the introductory balance transfer rate expires by performing a series of balance transfers, essentially keeping their debt at a low or 0% interest rate indefinitley. Greedy credit card companies do not like this but there isn’t much they can do about it :)

There are potential pitfalls with balance transfers. Consumers should read the small print of any contract they enter. Pitfalls include charges to perform the balance transfer (which may exceed the potential saving or profit to the consumer), different APR rates on spend and payments against the card being applied to the lowest APR item first among others.

Recycle that Credit Card

Got an expired credit card or one you don’t use any more? Don’t throw it away, use it to scrape the ice off the windscreen of your car! I break several bank cards each winter doing this… so now I always keep an old one in my wallet.

When I was a younger man I lived in a shabby rented flat. It had a Yale type lock on the door, and a credit card was all that was required to gain entry slid between the doorjam and the door (no architrave in these cheap digs you see).

Have you got a use for an old credit card? Comment below & let me know :)

The Evil of Store Cards

Store cards are a special brand of credit card that department stores trick people into signing up for with promises of huge benefits. Unfortunately they dont usually highlight their huge interest rates and outlandish charges. Now before I get sued I better say that not all store cards carry massive interest rates… but I’m yet to find a good value one.

These cards can be used by the stoozer to take advantage of special offers and priviliges that come with their ‘exclusive’ membership:

Members only events; previews to sales & special discounts. Many department stores do have genuine offers for members only. I had a store card that gave me access to a special storage locker where I could leave my shopping for later collection. Member parking is another popular bonus.

Extra discount; on the day you sign up for the card (usually in store) you may be lured in with the promise of a 10% discount on the days shopping. 10% is less than the store’s margin anyway, and can encourage you to buy more than you had intended. Generally the store card interest will recover the 10% within a few months anyway!

If these advantages appeal to you there is nothing wrong with owning and using a store card but please please be sure to pay the balance off in full every month. If you can’t do this, then you shouldn’t use one. Holding a store card is only for the strong willed!

If you currently hold a store card with a balance that you cannot pay off in full every month, do your self a favor and transfer the balance to a 0% or low interest credit card.

Be aware when applying for a store card that credit checks will be made that can have effect on your credit rating. You might be ‘using up’ a credit application that could be better used on a different credit card.

Choosing The Right Credit Card

Even if you aren’t interested in stoozing choosing the right credit card is important. Choose the wrong one and you will be lining the pockets of the greedy banks and credit card companies with your hard earned cash.

It can be bewildering looking through the massive amounts of different card options available in todays saturated market, it can seem almost as difficult as choosing from the millions of mobile phone packages that are available. The bells and whistles are endless, but so are the charges.

The first thing to do before you even start the hunt for a credit card is to identify your current situation? Everyones situation is different; some have high credit card balances that they think they will never be able to pay off, others spend on their card and pay it off in full every month. Some people keep a credit card for emergency use only. Your situation will be unique.

The next thing is to identify your needs. What do you want from your credit card? Do you want to reduce the balance of your credit card debt quickly, or maybe you are looking for reward schemes where you might be given airmiles or grocery vouchers in exchange for spending on the card.

Once you have an idea of where you are with your credit cards, and where you want to be, then the articles on this website should be able to help you choose the right credit card(s) for your needs.